sustaining health

When Illness Happens to Healthy People

by ultrapeg

As you many of you know, throughout the years I have been a strong advocate of yoga and Pilates for maintaining health and wellness.  Now I find myself once again facing the prospect of dealing with cancer.  My first experience some 12 years ago was relatively mild compared to this one.  So some of you may be thinking “how could a health practitioner and advocate like Peg become so sick??” Or  worse, “why should I bother if illness may come to me whether or not I practice yoga or Pilates or even exercise regularly?”

Here are my responses:  First, illness or accident or anything unexpected can happen to any of us at any time.  If you are reading this and are over the age of, say, 20, it is probably safe to say that not one among us has escaped trauma during our lives.  All trauma is relative.  What may seem trivial to one can mean serious suffering to another.  The way we perceive experience is the way we internalize it.  We have all had difficult experiences.  The older we get, the more these experiences accumulate.  This is life.  These are part of what makes us who we are.

One recurring theme you may recognize in my writing is the constancy of change.  Everything is always changing.  The best predictions are guesses.  No one knows what the future holds – good or bad.  That’s assuming we still want to use those labels:  “good” meaning things we think we want to happen and “bad” meaning things we don’t want to happen.  All of which is, of course, very subjective.  None of this is to say that cancer is a “good” thing.  But it is what it is.  It has no agenda other than survival – just like healthy cells.  It’s not right or wrong or good or bad.  It just is.

During these past 3 weeks as I recover from surgery, I’ve been struck by the number of people who have told me how “good” I look.  This brings me to the second question, “why should I bother . . .etc.”.  The answer is simple:  if you want to survive life’s traumas you need strength, flexibility and balance.  Does that ring a bell?  It should!  These are the main benefits of yoga, Pilates and exercise in general.  And there are so many more.  In response to hearing how good I look I’ve been saying that I am a walking advertisement for the disciplines I advocate and try to maintain.   Something else you’ve all frequently heard me say – it’s never too late to start.  No matter where you are, you can gain in strength, flexibility and balance.  Just like any other experience, these qualities are relative also.  What’s strong for you may be different for someone else, but it is still strength.  All you have to do is start and then keep practicing.  Yet another sentiment I frequently express is how practicing yoga and Pilates will help you with all aspects of your life.  Perhaps my experience will help you to see how true that rea is.

None of us can escape trauma.  But we can learn to roll with the punches.  Or at least we can try.  It’s never easy, but fighting with reality doesn’t make it any easier.  Acceptance doesn’t have to mean giving in or in any way being happy about the state of things as they are.  All it means is that we acknowledge what we cannot change and move on from there.  We may not be very good at this and we certainly will never be perfect, but we can practice.  And each day – maybe each moment – offers a new opportunity to practice.

I am exceedingly grateful to the wonderfully supportive community of which I am privileged to be a part.  You all make my efforts at practice that much more significant and rewarding.  Thanks to all.

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and to endure what cannot be cured.”

BKS Iyengar

“A hundred flowers blossom in spring, the moon shines in autumn, there is a fresh breeze in summer, and there is snow in winter. If your mind isn’t occupied with trivial matters, every time is a good time.”

Wumen Huikai, “Zen Basics”

 

Doing Your Best vs. Doing Your Most

by ultrapeg

A recent Yoga Journal article on backbends (The Compassionate Backbend by Kate Tremblay) talked about the distinction between practicing yoga for the purpose of achieving picture perfect poses vs. practicing for the purpose of attaining freedom of movement.  We’re all familiar with the former, but maybe we should instead be focusing on the latter.

“If you practice backbends intent upon eradicating aspects of yourself that you see as somehow ‘not measuring up,’ such as weak muscles, stiff joints, or protective insulation, you succeed only in beating yourself up. There’s no freedom on that path . .

If the discipline of yoga is to bring greater freedom, you must practice . . . in a way that accepts and accommodates your resistance—even values and honors it—while still letting you receive the intended benefits. The point of this practice is not to become someone else but to become more fully yourself.”

You can substitute any pose or other aspect of practice for “backbends” in that concept.  No matter what discipline you choose to practice there is always a stumbling block – something you wish you could do better but can’t because of some perceived shortcoming.  Perhaps this desire even causes you to envy someone else who is able to do whatever it is the way you wish you could do it.  But, like the quote above makes clear, this is the same as wishing you were someone you’re not rather that celebrating who you are.

Those of you who have attended my classes know that I often try to describe what I hope you will feel when you’re practicing certain poses.  Yoga and Pilates are both disciplines that aim to help you connect mind and body, movement and sensation, awakening body awareness.  If you can feel the movement, you’re achieving the benefit.  Your pose may look different from someone else’s pose, but that doesn’t make it any less beneficial.  And it is the right pose for you.  This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t challenge yourself.  But it does mean that you need to be mindful about how and when you challenge yourself.

The article talks about some of the simple stretches we do in class that feel so good.  You know the ones.  These may seem “especially pleasurable [since] you rarely try to reach beyond your body’s natural comfort level. You’re not trying to achieve anything in particular, just instinctively going for the relief and exhilaration”.  The good news is that you can do that in any pose – that is, go for “relief and exhilaration”.  But it helps to remember

“to accept only what is appropriate. You make a conscious choice not to take all you could, not to move into the fullest [pose] your body can manage, because you see value in holding back; you value the health and integrity of your body more than the [perceived] glory of a deeper pose.

This kind of restraint is so uncommon in our culture that it can feel quite unnatural. To embrace restraint, you might need to acknowledge how strongly it conflicts with the messages we regularly receive about what it means to be accomplished and successful. . . If you move into [your practice] without acknowledging [this] potential [conflict], doing your best can translate into doing your most. Not only can this lead to injury, but it can also sabotage the benefits of the practice altogether. If you want to give your [practice] your best effort . . .you have to remind yourself that success comes with taking only what you need from a pose—only what your body can appropriately use and no more.”

As I’ve said many times, what’s appropriate for your body can vary from day to day.  So doing your best on any given day may be different from what it was the day before, or what it will be the day after.  But if you keep practicing and do your best each day, you will get the benefits.  And I say that with confidence.

An article from Yoga Basics (Yoga During Times of Change by Megan DeMatteo) takes this concept a step further by suggesting that Child’s Pose is actually an “advanced [pose] . . .because it requires that we let go into the necessary gift of self care, something not easy for many of us.”  So next time you feel the need to stop during practice and give yourself a break, you can relax in Child’s Pose by reminding yourself that you are making an important contribution to your practice by executing this “advanced pose”.

A final thought from the song “Anthem” by Leonard Cohen (featured in a recent blog post by Parker Palmer):

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in

Let the light shine in on your practice!  It is, after all your practice.  You don’t need to impress anyone.  When you begin to believe that, you will find the freedom that you are looking for.