sustaining health

Gratitude and Generosity

by ultrapeg

This is a time of year when it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of items on our to-do lists.  So many needs surround us that the last person in line for our attention tends to be ourselves.  It might be a good time to remember that if you don’t refill your own tank, you won’t have any fuel to power all those good deeds you want to do for others.  So taking time out for yourself is an act of compassion and a gift to all of those who need you.  These are not new ideas, but we all tend to forget so they are worth revisiting.  I’m as guilty of forgetting them as any of us, so sometimes I need to hear myself say these things, too.

One thing you can do for yourself is spend an hour or so focusing on your own miraculous ability to move and breathe. Although every day should provide an opportunity for gratitude, this time of year encourages a special emphasis. If you need further incentive to take some time for yourself, perhaps this quote from an article by Sallie Jiko Tisdale, a dharma teacher at Dharma Rain Zen Center, in Portland, Oregon in Tricycle magazine might help motivate you:

“Gratitude, the simple and profound feeling of being thankful, is the foundation of all generosity. I am generous when I believe that right now, right here, in this form and this place, I am myself being given what I need. Generosity requires that we relinquish something, and this is impossible if we are not glad for what we have. Otherwise the giving hand closes into a fist and won’t let go.”

No matter what level you’re at, if you can move and breathe you possess amazing skills!  Expressing your gratitude for them is an act of generosity.  So take that first step and just show up at a class.  Then you can pat yourself on the back and feel good for the rest of the day.

If the recent emphasis on perfect bodies still has you daunted and doubtful, perhaps a recent article by Erica Rodefer Winters, a writer and yoga teacher in Charleston, South Carolina, titled “The Pressure to be a Perfect Yogini” in Yoga Journal might help you finally put those objections to rest.  In the article she writes about all the photos and articles glorifying supposed “super-yogis” in pretzel poses emphasizing all their healthy activities.  She says:

“If you believe the social media profiles of these über practitioners, you’d think that they roll out of bed every morning at 5am to meditate and practice yoga for a couple of hours before they start their day. Then they drink a smoothie full of miracle foods. They follow a strict but “yummy” diet of raw, organic, locally sourced, gluten-free, vegan fare that they buy fresh from the farmer’s market every week. They have perfect, stress-free careers where they make a positive impact on the world . . .”

She continues:

“If someone like this exists in real life, I’d like to shake her hand. Then, I’d like to ask a few questions on behalf of stressed out, over-extended, exhausted yoga students everywhere.  First of all, what are you REALLY putting in those smoothies that gives you so much energy? (Don’t say kale. If you say kale, I might scream.) Do you ever sleep, snap at a loved one, or eat a few too many cupcakes?”

And finally:

“I don’t need any more ideas for my to-do list—no matter how healthy or good-for-the-world these tasks might be. I need to be reminded that sometimes it is more beneficial to my health to spend my time watching a movie on the couch, sleeping in, eating a delicious meal with my friends or family without worrying about the ingredients used to make it. I need to be reminded . . .that sometimes it’s wiser to just let the balls drop, forgive ourselves for causing our own unnecessary suffering, and commit to trying to be kinder and more loving to ourselves in the future.”

So be good to yourself this season.  It is an act of compassion that inspires generosity.  And no matter what you eat or look like you are always welcome in my classes!

Practicing Self-Compassion

by ultrapeg
Recently I listened to an interview by Krista Tippett  of the public radio program “On Being” with two Buddhist teachers, Sharon Salzburg and Robert Thurman.  It was titled “Embracing our Enemies and our Suffering”.  During the discussion there was a distinction made between internal and external enemies.  We are all familiar with the phrase “we are our own worst enemies”.   Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than any of our so-called external enemies would dare to be.  Sharon Salzburg offered the following ideas to counteract this self-flagellation that we all experience from time to time.  First, she talked about her initial experience practicing metta or lovingkindness in an intensive, structured way. The practice begins with self-compassion and moves out from there to others.  She says:
“I always knew that classically you began with yourself, which I found kind of confusing because I felt, well, surely the higher path, the more spiritual way, would be denying yourself . . . some kind of self-abnegation . . . just focusing completely on others. . .”
But then she goes on to say that she learned that self-compassion can really be a form of generosity:
 “It’s like generosity of the spirit. And the best kind of generosity comes from a sense of inner abundance. . [I]f we feel depleted and overcome and exhausted and just burnt out, we’re not gonna have the wherewithal inside, the sense of resourcefulness, to care about anybody. . . [I]t’s a self-preoccupation that happens when we feel so undone, so unworthy. . . [thus] lovingkindness for one’s self is this tremendous sense of strength and resourcefulness in terms of connecting to others.”
And finally she comes to this point which really resonated with me:
“. . . the one question that’s very interesting to reflect on is how do I actually learn best? How do I change? How do I grow? Is it through that kind of belittling myself and berating myself and humiliating myself? Or is it through something else, some other quality like self-compassion and . . . having the energy to actually move on?  So where does that energy come from? It comes from not being stuck. And how do we get unstuck? In fact, it’s from forgiving ourselves and realizing. . .I am capable of change.”
So when you are tempted to avoid trying something new because you’re so sure you won’t be any good at it, you might want to reflect on what helps you to learn.  All of us have a different path to learning.  Some of us are visual learners, some auditory, some hands-on.  And maybe we have also learned through negative stimuli from time to time to avoid certain painful experiences.  But how do you learn best? How do you learn those positive lessons that give you the energy to move forward?  Self-compassion just might be worth considering.  Try being as gentle with yourself as you would be with someone you care about.  It can’t hurt and it just might help.