reinforcing positive behavior

Drowning the Demons of Doubt

by ultrapeg

Some years ago I taught a business planning class to prospective entrepreneurs.  As they progressed in the process, the students would inevitably get discouraged.  The prospect for success would seem impossibly slow and daunting.  At those moments when the demons of doubt clouded all hope and enthusiasm, I would try to remind the disheartened to remember what led them to this path in the first place.  “Dangle that carrot!” was the mantra.  Whatever it was that brought you here, keep it right up front.  It’s still there; it just gets buried periodically and needs to be dusted off and re-illuminated.

This applies to exercise also.  Sometimes the workouts just seem too tough.  You feel like you will never master the moves.  Sleeping in instead of going to class seems really attractive.  Even sensible.  You can come up with a zillion good reasons why exercise just isn’t right for you.  It’s moments like these when you need to “dangle that carrot!”  Remember why you decided to take up exercise in the first place.  What were your goals?  In case you’ve forgotten them here are a few possibilities from Paige Wagner one of the blogs I read regularly.  She wrote about a client she had

“. . . who wore a bracelet with the word “cellulite” written on it. When she felt like stopping, she looked at that bracelet for a reminder that every step brought her closer to her goal of losing weight.

If you’re lacking motivation to finish your workout, use a visual reminder, like she did, or just mentally list your own goals:

  • I want to get stronger
  • I want to lose weight
  • I want to have more energy
  • I want to feel good about myself
  • I want to look good for my wedding/high school reunion/future

You can even turn it into a mantra, repeating silently “I’m getting stronger” or “I’m losing weight” with each step forward.  It may sound a little cheesy but, when you’re in the moment, the right thought can be the difference between quitting and succeeding.

If that list doesn’t resonate with you, here are a few more possibilities:

  • I want to move with less pain
  • I want to do things with my grandchildren
  • I want to improve my balance
  • I want to be healthier

Etc., etc.  I’m sure you can easily add your own goals to this list.  Progress may still feel painfully slow, though.  So instead of focusing on what you think you lack, try instead to see what you’ve accomplished.  Think about what you’ve already learned.  If you have attended even one class, you learned something.  Start there and build on that.  Anything you can do, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, can be a practice.  So practice it.  Repeat it.  Do the part that you know and before you know it you will be able to add on to that.  According to Alycea Ungaro, another blogger I follow, “with repetition comes freedom. [You don’t] need bells and whistles or fancy tricks – just the freedom that comes with knowing a [few moves] well enough to look for new elements, details and inspiration from each move.”

So rather than demanding specific performance standards from yourself, as Alycea suggests try being “open to what happens when you move through your routines”.  You may be surprised to find that you begin to experience them with greater and greater confidence.  No matter where you are on the path towards your goals you can always go back to what you know and move from there.

Get Happy – Join a Group!

by ultrapeg

Recently, I’ve been following a series called “100 Days of Lovingkindness” from Wildmind’s Meditation Newsletter .  Every day for the duration of the series an e-mail is sent out with a description of ideas and practices that the reader can try and, hopefully, incorporate into their lives.  Here is an excerpt from Day 66 – Appreciation is Contagious:

When. . .you become happier, . . . your friends become measurably happier because you’re happy. (This has been scientifically verified).

And your friends’ friends become measurably happier.

And your friends’ friends’ friends become measurably happier.

Happiness spreads outward into the world through your social network like a virus — although a rather beneficial one.

This may all seem rather incredible, but . . .the evidence for this [from a British Medical Journal article wonderfully titled “Dynamic Spread of Happiness”] . . . is based on a huge study carried out by Harvard Medical School and the University of California, San Diego.

Professor of Medical Genetics James H. Fowler and social scientist Nicholas Christakis, MD, PhD, have been studying social networks for years, using data from the ongoing Framingham Heart Study, which has been tracking the health, behaviors, and attitudes of tens of thousands of people since 1948.

The study measures many aspects of health, including happiness. Participants have been asked how likely they are to agree with questions like “I feel hopeful about the future” and “I feel happy.” And the study also tracks social networks, allowing the researchers to see how attitudes and behaviors spread.

Fowler and Christakis have found that if you have overweight friends, you’re more likely to be overweight yourself. If you have friends who don’t smoke, you’ll find it easier to give up smoking. If your friends are unhappy, you’re more likely to be unhappy yourself. And, crucially, if you’re happy your friends are more likely to be happy, and if your friends are happy you’re more likely to be happy.

In fact, if you’re happy you increase the chances of an immediate social contact becoming happy by 15%. And this effect ripples out into your friend’s friend’s relationships.

So it pays to surround yourself with healthy, happy people.  One way you can do that is by coming to a class!  (Yup – you knew I’d find a way to bring you back to that.)  Classes are full of people striving to improve their health and general outlook on life.  Be a part of that effort!  It’s contagious!  According to this study, just by showing up and being part of the group you have at least a 15% chance of becoming happier and healthier yourself.  And if your own well-being is not enough incentive, your association with healthy people may enable you to spread that health to everyone around you.  The more of us who participate, the more this spreads.  Just think what we can all accomplish!

The study also implies that if you’re not feeling particularly happy or healthy, you’re likely to pass those feelings on as well. So maybe these ideas will help you to just try rubbing elbows with a group that’s trying to improve their lives.  It can’t hurt and it just might help you feel better.  You don’t have to perform in any prescribed or specified way.  Just be there and be a part of the group.  If you keep it up, pretty soon all those you associate with might start feeling better, too.  What a concept!

Hope to see you all in a class soon!