Right Now is the Best Time Ever!

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Photo Credit: Foundry Company

If you’re still waiting for that perfect time to start coming to classes, here’s a news flash:  there is no more perfect time than right now.  Many of us keep waiting for changes but do nothing to make that change happen.  For example, if you’re waiting until you are in better shape, but do nothing to improve the shape you’re in then waiting serves no purpose. It just makes time tick past us. Most of us do not have any kind of magic wand that will suddenly endow us with traits we haven’t got.  Also, we cannot go back to a past that might have looked different.  A quote that is often attributed to Albert Einstein goes something like “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results”.  Until you take a different approach, nothing is going to change.  Or change may happen but it may not be what you want.  For example, when it comes to movement, the less you move the more difficult movement becomes.  Then all of the consequences of not moving (muscle atrophy, listlessness, difficulty in accomplishing simple tasks) can begin to become evident or, worse, increase.  So the less you move the harder it becomes to move and the more likely you are to suffer associated health consequences.

Overscheduling can also be an impediment.  You think “after this or that event I’ll have more time”.  This, too, is an illusion. It’s easy to fall prey to the perception that you are just too busy to take the time for a class or other exercise.  Among the flaws in that line of thinking is that somehow we forget that each of us only has so much energy to expend in any given day.  Many of us are guilty of expending all of that energy in the service of others.  This is noble, but when we act as if this energy supply is endless we can become depleted, exhausted and maybe even a bit resentful.  We all need to take time to replenish our energy supplies.  As I’ve said in other blog posts, taking time for yourself is equally – if not more! – important than the time you devote to others.  You can’t give what you haven’t got.  Try thinking of your “me” time as a gift you give to those around you.

At some point we all need to face the reality of where we are right now.  This day, this moment.  It may not be ideal, but there is probably more good than bad if you really take the time to think about it.  Maybe a perception adjustment is required. Whatever your current physical condition, if you can move and breathe you may have more capacity than you think you do. Perhaps you will never again ski in the Alps, run a marathon or compete in a gymnastics competition.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t find some kind of exercise that works for you.  Get creative!  Explore some new ideas.  Find out what your friends are doing.  Sometimes we can be so busy focussing on something we think we want that we ignore some of the other ideas that are right in front of us.  And if you’re still worrying that you’ll look funny trying to do something new or different here’s something to consider:  you will probably be anxious if you do nothing so if doing something also makes you anxious then either way you are going to experience anxiety.  Might as well choose the active path.  If you hate it, you can always go back to doing nothing.

And perhaps in the end that’s the most important truth.  Nothing is permanent.  No matter what you choose to do there is no rule that says you have to keep doing it.  You can change at any time.  Trying something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it forever.  But you will never know your true ability if you don’t try.  With classes I always suggest that you try a few times before you give up.  Practice always makes things more accessible.  But there really are no hard and fast rules.  Just the rules each of us establishes for ourselves.  It helps to remember that those rules are of our own making and we can unmake them any time we want.  We all have the ability to make choices.  It may not always be easy, but it can be done.

Looking for Life’s “Aha!” Moments

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There are times when you may find yourself in the middle of a class getting annoyed by what you perceive is your lack of ability.  You may start to lament letting yourself go or waiting so long to begin. Or you may start believing that getting older automatically implies loss of ability.  Or maybe you see what the person next to you is doing and start beating yourself up because you feel like you can’t do the same thing. This drumbeat can become a self-fulfilling prophecy; that is, saying “I can’t” means “I can’t”. Personally, I hate hearing the words “I can’t”. It’s amazing to me how easily we downgrade our abilities.  These negative thoughts can become what Sharon Salzberg refers to in a recent blog post on onbeing.org as “inner landmines”.  They can trip you up and derail your efforts before you even know what’s impacting you. Sometimes the attack can be so severe that it triggers thoughts of giving up.  It can even be the first brick in a wall of resistance that keeps you from believing that you can change. 

This is just plain wrong.  Recent brain research continues to prove that we are never too old to change.

If you find yourself in this type of negative spiral, it might help to stop and examine what is creating that resistance.  It probably has nothing to do with the person next to you.  It has much more to do with how you see yourself.  Instead of focusing on what you think is wrong with what you’re doing, how about celebrating the fact that you are there doing it. Think of all the people you know who give in to their inner “boogey men” and don’t even try.  Here you are making the effort.  That’s special!  You may think that effort isn’t perfect, but whatever you’re doing is better than not doing it at all.  Through the years I have seen (and I have had!) many “aha!” moments when something that seemed so elusive suddenly becomes clear and do-able.  Think of riding a bike.  Or that subject you took in school that seemed so opaque.  Whatever block you overcome, it soon becomes so effortless you begin to wonder what was so troubling.  I recently heard a description by a father of his son’s first steps.  The child took one step and suddenly his little face lit up when he realized he was still standing and could take another. Sure, he fell shortly thereafter, but it was enough success to inspire him to keep trying.

Maybe you have always downplayed your abilities.  Some of us have been raised to believe that this is a form of necessary modesty.  More often, though, these thoughts have morphed into demons that hold us back from trying new things or pursuing something we’ve always wanted to do.  Despite this self-directed negativity, most of us are capable of incredible compassion towards others.  It is not being selfish or even self-centered to believe that you are just as deserving of compassion as everyone else in your life.

So allow yourself some of the generosity you are so willing to bestow on others.  The first rule of yoga is “ahimsa” which is usually translated from Sanskrit as “non-violence”.  We are not capable of non-violence toward others until we first learn to be non-violent toward ourselves. Subjecting ourselves to “inner landmines” hardly qualifies as non-violence.  Even if you’re the only one that knows.

When you hit a wall with your practice remember the rule of ahimsa.  Be gentle with yourself.  Maybe you need to just stop, take a breath and try again another time. Or try making the best effort you can make at this time regardless of how far away from your ideal you think it might be. Either way you can’t lose.  Mindful effort is always better than not trying at all. And practice works. Keep trying and you will improve. You may never look like your neighbor but that doesn’t mean that you are not achieving the desired result.  Even when you think the results are less than optimum you’re probably improving more than you realize. Reward yourself for the effort you’ve made and smile!  Give yourself a break and applaud your achievement. After all, you showed up and that’s half the battle.