enjoying change

Never Too Late

by ultrapeg

As most of you know, I recently decided to train for a new (for me) Pilates certification using the Reformer.  For those of you who don’t know, the Reformer is a piece of equipment originally designed by Joseph Pilates, the founder of the Pilates method, to assist with some exercises.  In recent years the Reformer has also become a tool that Physical Therapists can use as part of the rehabilitation process following surgery and/or injury.  Although I’ve been teaching mat Pilates for years, I became interested in the Reformer as my students (and me!) continue to age and develop special needs.

Deciding to undertake a new certification required some serious thought and preparation on my part.  For one thing, training is expensive – especially when it requires travel.  My resources are limited.  Training also takes time.  There is study time, practice time, travel time and loss of income while engaging in these activities.  These considerations meant weighing all of the possible outcomes.  Would the sacrifices necessary be worth the end result?  Of course, there is no way of being certain.

Those of you who follow my blog know that a recurring theme is daring to take risks even when the outcome is uncertain.  Actually, there isn’t much in life that is certain except for change.  Everything changes all of the time.  We all hate change, but it is constant – no matter what we do to protect ourselves from it.  Probably all of you have heard some version of the quote, “Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.   As much as we dislike change, if we want something to be different we can’t keep repeating the same behavior.

Change is a scary thing.  In my last post, I repeated something that struck me when I first heard it – change means loss.  We have to give up something in order to make something else happen.  To make the decision I was faced with, I knew I would have to give some things up without knowing what would be on the other side.  I would have to step off the precipice of the known and set foot on the uncertain surface of the unknown.  Was I ready to make that leap at this late stage in my life?  Would my feet sink into quicksand?

After much soul-searching and discussion with my husband, I decided to take that chance.  Helping people move has been more than a job for me.  It is a vocation.  Almost a calling.  My mantra for the last 20 years or so has been “move while you can move, because you never know when you won’t be able to move anymore”.  Although there is no way to know how this will all work out, I realized I would just have to make the decision, take the leap, and put one foot in front of the other.  Part of that decision means accepting the outcome whatever it is.  So that’s what I’ve doing.  For me this is an opportunity to fulfill a dream I’ve had for more than 20 years – to be able to work full-time at helping people move.

In November I began the first step toward fulfilling this goal.  Shortly after that I made another leap of faith and quit my part-time job at a local restaurant so I could devote myself to my training and my business.  Now here’s the amazing part – it’s all working out!  I’m taking it day by day.  No expectations.  But so far, it’s all working out.  I am so grateful to everyone who is supporting my efforts.

This week I received a very special form of support which is really why I wanted to write this post.  As an older, “non-traditional” student, I was encouraged to apply for a scholarship offered by the P.E.O. Sisterhood, an organization that supports educational opportunities for women.  A local branch of this organization sponsored my application.  Notification came this week that I was awarded a partial scholarship to obtain my certification.  There are no words to express how honored and moved I am by the support of this group.

What I really want to express in this post is that it is never too late to take that leap into the unknown and try something new.  A whole new world has opened up for me and no matter what happens, I have already learned so much – not just about Pilates, but about myself.  I am truly grateful to have this opportunity.

Practicing Self-Compassion

by ultrapeg
Recently I listened to an interview by Krista Tippett  of the public radio program “On Being” with two Buddhist teachers, Sharon Salzburg and Robert Thurman.  It was titled “Embracing our Enemies and our Suffering”.  During the discussion there was a distinction made between internal and external enemies.  We are all familiar with the phrase “we are our own worst enemies”.   Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than any of our so-called external enemies would dare to be.  Sharon Salzburg offered the following ideas to counteract this self-flagellation that we all experience from time to time.  First, she talked about her initial experience practicing metta or lovingkindness in an intensive, structured way. The practice begins with self-compassion and moves out from there to others.  She says:
“I always knew that classically you began with yourself, which I found kind of confusing because I felt, well, surely the higher path, the more spiritual way, would be denying yourself . . . some kind of self-abnegation . . . just focusing completely on others. . .”
But then she goes on to say that she learned that self-compassion can really be a form of generosity:
 “It’s like generosity of the spirit. And the best kind of generosity comes from a sense of inner abundance. . [I]f we feel depleted and overcome and exhausted and just burnt out, we’re not gonna have the wherewithal inside, the sense of resourcefulness, to care about anybody. . . [I]t’s a self-preoccupation that happens when we feel so undone, so unworthy. . . [thus] lovingkindness for one’s self is this tremendous sense of strength and resourcefulness in terms of connecting to others.”
And finally she comes to this point which really resonated with me:
“. . . the one question that’s very interesting to reflect on is how do I actually learn best? How do I change? How do I grow? Is it through that kind of belittling myself and berating myself and humiliating myself? Or is it through something else, some other quality like self-compassion and . . . having the energy to actually move on?  So where does that energy come from? It comes from not being stuck. And how do we get unstuck? In fact, it’s from forgiving ourselves and realizing. . .I am capable of change.”
So when you are tempted to avoid trying something new because you’re so sure you won’t be any good at it, you might want to reflect on what helps you to learn.  All of us have a different path to learning.  Some of us are visual learners, some auditory, some hands-on.  And maybe we have also learned through negative stimuli from time to time to avoid certain painful experiences.  But how do you learn best? How do you learn those positive lessons that give you the energy to move forward?  Self-compassion just might be worth considering.  Try being as gentle with yourself as you would be with someone you care about.  It can’t hurt and it just might help.