decision to practice

Approaching Experiences Mindfully.

by ultrapeg

In a recent talk given by Jessica Morey at the Upaya Zen Center in New Mexico, the following story was recounted.  Unfortunately, there was no transcript so I can’t quote exactly, but you can listen to the podcast on Upaya’s web site.  Ms. Morey spoke of her teacher, Michele MacDonald, who was travelling and decided to buy a gift to bring back to her staff.  As an admitted “choc-aholic”, she thought chocolate would be an appropriate gift.  So she bought alot of it so that there would be enough for everyone on her recipient list.  As she was driving back home, she kept thinking about the chocolate and wanted to try some.  She soon realized that she really wanted to eat all of it.  She decided that she would, in fact, eat it all, but she would do it mindfully.  That night she ate every piece of the chocolate making sure to savor and experience every bite fully.  With each bite she experienced the feeling of craving, the brief relief of satisfaction, followed by a seemingly insatiable recurrence of craving. The process took several hours.  Satisfaction remained temporary and elusive.  Amazingly, she did not get sick, but she did learn some powerful truths about her “choc-aholism”.

This is not a practice that I would recommend.  However, there are some good lessons here.  We all have cravings with associated triggers.  Sometimes we can resist.  At other times we throw caution to the wind and spontaneously succumb to the lure.   Then, in order to avoid focusing on the fact that we’re doing something we know we shouldn’t do, we proceed as if in a trance to follow the siren’s call. What this story suggests is that if you must give in, try doing it mindfully.  Instead of trying to numb yourself to the experience and beat yourself up for it later (e.g., “the devil made me do it!”) try paying attention to the activity and really feel what it is doing for and to you.  Is it making you feel good?  Or bad?  Do you like the feeling, whatever it is?  Does the feeling last?  Is it giving you what you thought it would give you?  If it is, can you accept the consequences?

You could also apply this strategy to something you fear.  Or something you know you should do, but momentarily don’t feel like doing.  Like exercising or going to a class.  You wake up and think “I don’t feel good today.  I’m really tired and achy.  Maybe I’ll skip class today.”  Or you’ve been meaning to try a class, but today seems like it is just not the right day.  Fine.  Make that choice.  But try doing it mindfully.  Think it through.  Examine what’s truly in your heart.  What are you really feeling?  Are you afraid you won’t perform up to standards?  Whose standards?  Your own?  Or someone else’s?  Can you let go of perceived performance ideals?  Are you prepared to go through the whole day possibly regretting that you didn’t go to class?  Or maybe you really aren’t feeling well and need to take a day off.  Whatever the answer, try exploring your real emotions instead of mindlessly following your initial impulse.

You may decide that your fears are justified and deserve acquiescence.  But before you make that choice you may want to consider the following from Brene Brown (this from an interview with Krista Tippett on the APM program On Being):

“Vulnerability is courage. It’s about the willingness to show up and be seen in our lives. And in those moments when we show up, I think those are the most powerful meaning-making moments of our lives even if they don’t go well. I think they define who we are.  I think there’s something incredibly contagious and powerful about it. I think it makes the people around us a little bit braver and I think it helps us get very clear on the ideals and values that guide our lives.”

Approaching your life mindfully can be a very courageous choice.

More Thoughts on Practice: The Group Experience

by ultrapeg

For those of you still debating the wisdom of taking a class, here are a few more thoughts on the subject.  I recently listened to a Radio Lab program called “Emergence” which provided several stories highlighting the power of the group.  From the behavior of insects to the production of brain waves, forces working together and synchronizing their activity can result in outcomes that would never be possible for each individual acting alone.  Examples presented were as diverse as groups of fireflies silently lighting up entire forests to ants selecting a queen or eliminating invaders from their space to the human brain deciding to have a cup of coffee.  In every case it took a “village” to bring about the desired outcome.  Interestingly, in each of these cases there was not necessarily a leader giving directions.  Just a seemingly simultaneous, perhaps instinctive decision to work together.

This concept can be extended to many things, of course, but in particular to taking classes.  Group behavior can be more powerful than each individual in the group.  Many people often tell me that they like to practice at home by themselves.  They read books or watch videos providing instructions about various disciplines and follow along on their own.  This is great and certainly has its place as part of an overall practice strategy.  But sometimes we really need the reinforcement that joining with other practitioners can provide.  This doesn’t mean that we agree with all of the others all of the time.  Or even that we behave in the same way as other members of the group.  It simply means that there is strength in numbers and it can be reassuring to have the support of others doing the same things you’re doing at the same time you’re doing it.

For me classes, or whatever other form of group practice one chooses, can provide discipline.  They help me to set aside a specific recurring time to incorporate my practice into my daily life.  The most important aspect of any practice is to actually do it.  The more one does it, the more it becomes a habit.  This doesn’t mean that it never changes.  But it does establish a regular pattern in our lives when we can focus on behavior that is important to our well-being.  The benefits received will then ripple out to all of the various groups in which we participate including families, friends and community.  None of us exists in a vacuum.  We all need to help each other.  This is just one more way we can do that.