changes in your life

Continuing Reflections on Change

by ultrapeg

Today was an absolutely glorious day in the Black Hills!  A tantalizing reminder that winter really won’t go on forever.  Of course, as Mark Twain said, if we don’t like the weather we can wait a minute and it will change.  This is just one more reason to enjoy each moment while it lasts.

How about taking a lesson from our weather and recognizing that change is happening all the time all around us.  Externally and internally.  So when you think that you will always be a certain way because that’s the way you think you’ve always been, my favorite philosopher/astrologer Caroline Casey would say “until now!”  Very little is etched in stone.  And even if it is, the stone is likely to erode or crumble at some point.  Change is always possible.  It’s all a matter of attitude and perception.

In a recent article in Tricycle Magazine, Sharon Salzberg, a well-known meditation teacher, reflected on mindful meditation as being “ like going into an old attic room and turning on the light”.  She writes:

It’s never too late to turn on the light. Your ability to break an unhealthy habit or turn off an old tape doesn’t depend on how long it’s been running; a shift in perspective doesn’t depend on how long you’ve held the old view. When you flip the switch in that attic, it doesn’t matter whether it’s been dark for 10 minutes, 10 years, or 10 decades. The light still illuminates the room and banishes the murkiness, letting you see things you couldn’t see before. It’s never too late to take a moment to look.

Change doesn’t always happen instantly, though, even when we really want it to.  Sometimes breaking an old habit can be tough.  It requires practice and a recognition that the change may take some time.  First a commitment is required and then a consistent effort to let go of the old and familiar and bring in the new and unknown.  But I believe all things are possible with commitment and practice.  We’ve all heard the old story of a musician being asked what it takes to get to Carnegie Hall and answering “practice, practice, practice”.  There’s another old saying – “fake it ‘til you make it”.  Sometimes going through the motions of practice is enough to maintain the consistency until you can feel it happening.  Be patient and kind to yourself.  Give yourself a pat on the back for following through on your commitment.

In my classes I will often hear new participants lament “I can’t possibly do that move; I’ve never been able to do that move.”  My own experience tells me a different story.  There was a time when I could not do that move either!  But I kept trying and eventually, with practice, I found (sometimes to my surprise!) that I was actually doing it.  Maybe not perfectly by some standards, but well enough to know I was receiving the benefits.

As a firm believer in practice, I hope you will just keep at it.  Whatever you are trying to accomplish, keep practicing.  Be confident in the knowledge that change will come.  Maybe not the way you expect it, but it will come nonetheless.

Getting Stuck In the Middle of Constant Change

by ultrapeg

Just when we think we’re getting a break from the intensity of winter weather, it returns.  Such is the nature of winter.  January and February can seem like the longest two months of the year.  Yet there is constant change.  Each day there are a couple more minutes of daylight.  At first it may be difficult to notice, but it is happening.  Even in the dead of winter, there is just enough change to alter shadows and transform the snow into ice.

The other day as I did a rare stint on my treadmill I watched the sun come up over the hill in front of our house.  I had this idea in my head that the scene from this window was stationary – not much happening.  How wrong I was.  The play of light and shadow across the lawn as the sun rose was a steady stream of action.  Just when I thought everything looked great and I just wanted it to stay that way so I could appreciate the beauty, it all changed.  The scene was completely fluid, each landscape dissolving into the next in a matter of seconds.

With the paradox of constant change being the only thing we can really count on in this life, maybe you might find that you have trouble maintaining your practice through all of these ups and downs.  Here are a few words of motivation from Tibetan Buddhist nun and author, Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron, that also contain the hint of Spring:

When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet. You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time. Similarly, just do your daily practice and cultivate a kind heart. Abandon impatience and instead be content creating the causes for goodness; the results will come when they’re ready.

This can apply to anything you are trying to accomplish that takes some time.  You may not see results right away and this can be frustrating.  Especially if you hit a plateau and feel that your progress has stopped.  But if you just keep at it “the results will come when they’re ready”.

Bernie Glassman, a teacher of Zen Buddhism, puts it another way:

. . . we get so attached to some end result that we can’t function. We need help just to move on, only life doesn’t wait. There’s a little ditty that sort of sums this up.

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream.

Imagine that you’re rowing down a stream and you’re trying to figure out how to do it. Do I first row with the right oar and then with the left, or is it the other way around? What does my shoulder do, what does my arm do?

It’s like Joe, the centipede with a hundred legs, trying to figure out which leg to move first. He can’t get anywhere, just like the person in the rowboat. And while he’s hung up with all those questions, the stream is pulling him on and on. So you want to row, row, row your boat—gently. Don’t make a whole to-do about it. Don’t get down on yourself because you’re not an expert rower; don’t start reading too many books in order to do it right. Just row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.

So when you’re tempted to blow off your exercise practice – or whatever routine you are trying to establish for yourself – because you feel like you’re not getting anywhere, just remember that the stream is still moving.  And so is the light.  Be gentle with yourself and just do what you can until the way becomes clear again.  You were motivated once and that resolve and enthusiasm can again return if you let it.  Although you may feel stuck right now, if you have a little patience, everything will change.  That’s something you can count on.