When Illness Happens to Healthy People

As you many of you know, throughout the years I have been a strong advocate of yoga and Pilates for maintaining health and wellness.  Now I find myself once again facing the prospect of dealing with cancer.  My first experience some 12 years ago was relatively mild compared to this one.  So some of you may be thinking “how could a health practitioner and advocate like Peg become so sick??” Or  worse, “why should I bother if illness may come to me whether or not I practice yoga or Pilates or even exercise regularly?”

Here are my responses:  First, illness or accident or anything unexpected can happen to any of us at any time.  If you are reading this and are over the age of, say, 20, it is probably safe to say that not one among us has escaped trauma during our lives.  All trauma is relative.  What may seem trivial to one can mean serious suffering to another.  The way we perceive experience is the way we internalize it.  We have all had difficult experiences.  The older we get, the more these experiences accumulate.  This is life.  These are part of what makes us who we are.

One recurring theme you may recognize in my writing is the constancy of change.  Everything is always changing.  The best predictions are guesses.  No one knows what the future holds – good or bad.  That’s assuming we still want to use those labels:  “good” meaning things we think we want to happen and “bad” meaning things we don’t want to happen.  All of which is, of course, very subjective.  None of this is to say that cancer is a “good” thing.  But it is what it is.  It has no agenda other than survival – just like healthy cells.  It’s not right or wrong or good or bad.  It just is.

During these past 3 weeks as I recover from surgery, I’ve been struck by the number of people who have told me how “good” I look.  This brings me to the second question, “why should I bother . . .etc.”.  The answer is simple:  if you want to survive life’s traumas you need strength, flexibility and balance.  Does that ring a bell?  It should!  These are the main benefits of yoga, Pilates and exercise in general.  And there are so many more.  In response to hearing how good I look I’ve been saying that I am a walking advertisement for the disciplines I advocate and try to maintain.   Something else you’ve all frequently heard me say – it’s never too late to start.  No matter where you are, you can gain in strength, flexibility and balance.  Just like any other experience, these qualities are relative also.  What’s strong for you may be different for someone else, but it is still strength.  All you have to do is start and then keep practicing.  Yet another sentiment I frequently express is how practicing yoga and Pilates will help you with all aspects of your life.  Perhaps my experience will help you to see how true that rea is.

None of us can escape trauma.  But we can learn to roll with the punches.  Or at least we can try.  It’s never easy, but fighting with reality doesn’t make it any easier.  Acceptance doesn’t have to mean giving in or in any way being happy about the state of things as they are.  All it means is that we acknowledge what we cannot change and move on from there.  We may not be very good at this and we certainly will never be perfect, but we can practice.  And each day – maybe each moment – offers a new opportunity to practice.

I am exceedingly grateful to the wonderfully supportive community of which I am privileged to be a part.  You all make my efforts at practice that much more significant and rewarding.  Thanks to all.

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and to endure what cannot be cured.”

BKS Iyengar

“A hundred flowers blossom in spring, the moon shines in autumn, there is a fresh breeze in summer, and there is snow in winter. If your mind isn’t occupied with trivial matters, every time is a good time.”

Wumen Huikai, “Zen Basics”

 

“Good” Workout Vs. “Bad” Workouts

This week I read a post in the Wildmind Newsletter about meditation, but I think the concepts can also apply to our practice of Pilates, yoga or any movement discipline we undertake.  So I’m taking the liberty of paraphrasing:  What is a “good” workout vs. a “bad” workout?  We waste a great deal of time making these judgments and worrying accordingly. The judgment is ultimately not about the workout, but really about ourselves and how we perceive our own efforts and abilities.  Maybe we think a “good” workout is one during which every exercise is performed to whatever specifications we demand of ourselves that day.  So it’s a workout that goes according to some preconceived notion or prescribed plan. But how many things in our lives actually go according to plan?  Or perhaps a better way of looking at it is how often does a well-layed out plan go awry? And what do we do when that happens?  When a workout doesn’t work out, we create stories about how we are not good at ______ (fill in the blank) or this practice isn’t the right one for us, or something similar. But this story is our own invention, so maybe we need to invent a different one:

With a bit more experience (assuming we don’t give up in the face of all those judgments) we may start to think that it’s the effort we put in that defines what is “good” or “bad”. We take into account that the conditions we’re working with change; sometimes they make [our practice] easier and sometimes harder. Imagine you go running. Some days you’re running on flat ground with the wind at your back. Sometimes you’re running uphill against a stiff breeze. The first of these runs is going to feel more pleasant (it’s a “good run”). But which of these runs is going to help you develop more fitness and stamina? The second one, right? So maybe it’s the [workouts] we struggle in that are really the “good” ones . . .

Think about how good you feel when you’ve completed something that you perceive as difficult.  It may take some time and effort to make that happen, but with a little determination you can find a way to your goal that works for you. Try being kind to yourself and have a little patience.  It is rare that anything worth having comes without at least some struggle.  But when you have that “aha!” moment of accomplishment, it is the best feeling!  Dangle that carrot.  You can reach it.

Expanding on the concept of patience with yourself and your goals, here’s something from Yoga Journal’s Daily Insight:

Yoga was originally developed to lead the practitioner to freedom from suffering and to realization of his or her Divine Nature. . .. It can be helpful, though, and even necessary, to set lesser goals along the way. . . These goals can help you to move in the right direction and provide you with valuable mileposts.

On the road to attaining your goals—in yoga and elsewhere in your life—you will inevitably encounter obstacles. Patanjali [recognized author of the Yoga Sutras, considered the guide book to the philosophy of classical yoga) refers to these as vikshepas and enumerates nine of them: illness, listlessness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, cravings, delusion, inability to progress, and instability in maintaining progress. Depending on your nature and the goals you have set, you will run into some of these more readily than others; but sooner or later you will come up against them all. How you meet these obstacles will affect how well you surmount them and what your state of mind will be in the process.

One does not need to understand the Yoga Sutras to recognize these obstacles. We all experience one or more of them on a daily basis.  That’s life!  It’s full of obstacles.  But you don’t have to give in.  Try being as patient with yourself as you would be with a child or a friend or family member that you care about.  We are often so much more willing to give others the benefit of the doubt than we are to allow ourselves the same leeway.

So next time you are tempted to skip your workout because you are worried about how you might perform, my suggestion is to just show up.   To echo a further sentiment in the Wildmind post, I would assert that

any workout “you turn up for is a ‘good’ [workout]. Sure, there are some days it’s easier than others and there are some days you have to put in more effort. But I’d suggest that you regard the [workout] you do as being infinitely better than the [workout] you don’t do.”

If your performance doesn’t meet your expectations that day, chalk it up to experience.  Whether or not you realize it, your body learned something.  Allow your mind to learn something, too.