Every year I find myself wishing we could somehow stretch this holiday season out. For example, wouldn’t it be nice to celebrate Christmas in July? Not only would it be easier to travel, but think of all the party options. We could have barbecues or lakeside swim gatherings.  This is, of course, possible in some locations.  When my dad lived in Florida we New Englanders would visit him at Christmas and marvel at the Christmas decorations on the palm trees. People could sing about dreaming of a white Christmas, but they didn’t have to scrape their cars and drive in it.

For most of us, though, the holiday season can seem to descend upon us like a huge “to do” list where every item needs to be completed in rapid succession.  Not only that, it all needs to be perfect since other people are counting on us. Instead of being a joyful time spent with family and friends, the months of November and December can become a blur of obligations.  Already I can see my own calendar filling up with invitations and commitments. Then along come January and February which should be a time to catch our collective breaths and recover.  Instead, we often find ourselves depressed from the let-down of the abrupt end of all that activity. We are then faced with yet another “to do” list of things that need to be undone (take down that Christmas tree!) or that didn’t get done while we were focused on the holidays.

Buried under all of this activity the actual meaning of the season can get lost.  That is, gratitude (remember the name “Thanksgiving”?) and the opportunity to give and receive in ways we should probably have been doing all year long but may have neglected.  Now seems to be the time to make up for that.

So how can we mitigate some of the stress we impose on ourselves at this time of year?  One thing we can all do is try not to completely abandon our usual routines.  If you have a regular exercise practice, try to find some way to maintain it in some fashion. Maybe the time you can allocate won’t be as long or intense as your usual activity.  But even 10 minutes can help clear your mind, loosen your muscles and diminish some of the tension in your body. The physical activity will not only help calm your stress but also give you the energy you need to attend to all your tasks.  When you can’t make it to a class, try getting up a few minutes earlier and doing some exercising on your own.  Ask your instructor to give you some ideas for a short practice you can do at home.  Or check out some of the many ideas you can find on the internet. You might be surprised to learn how much you can do in a small space.  If you have guests, bring them with you to your class.  Or ask them to join you for a walk.  Sometimes we feel obligated to spend every waking hour with visitors, especially if we have not seen them for a while.  But a 10-minute break might be welcome for a guest who has also been engaged non-stop for the entire visit.

If you are a guest yourself, see if you can find a class in the area you are visiting.  It can be interesting and even fun to try something different.  But avoid making that an additional source of stress.  No matter where you are, there are always places to walk even if you have to drive a bit to get to them.  If the weather is bad, dress appropriately.  Borrow clothing if you haven’t brought the right stuff with you.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  Make it a priority just as you would if you were home.  Remember – you count, too!  You can’t give what you don’t have.  If you become overwhelmed or exhausted you won’t be any good to anyone.

During any travelling, make sure to take breaks.  Sometimes we get in a car and just want to get to where we’re going regardless of how long that requires.  That is certainly true for me.  So when I’m driving any distance longer that a couple of hours, I try to plan my timing to allow for stretch breaks – time to get out of the car, breathe some fresh air, and walk around even if it is only a few minutes worth.  If you’re driving with someone else, tell them how much these breaks mean to you.  They might even find that it helps them, too.

Flying presents a different set of challenges. There can be long, anxiety-producing lines when checking in, cancelled or delayed flights or other obstacles in the path of your best laid plans. You can’t control any of these interferences. So getting upset will only make you feel bad. It won’t change the situation.  Try taking just a few minutes to close your eyes and breathe deeply.  This can help to soothe and relax you. You might even find that you become more receptive to whatever is happening in this particular moment.  Once you’re in the plane, get up from your seat periodically. Don’t worry about disturbing the others in your row.  You would get up for them, so why shouldn’t they get up for you? Walk up and down the aisle or do some stretches in the aisle or near the rest room. You can even stretch in your seat.  Try googling “seated stretching” or “stretching on a plane”.  You’ll find lots of ideas for ways to stretch when mobility or space is limited. If you need to change planes (and have enough time), try and walk between gates instead of taking a shuttle or those moving stairs.  It may seem like a long walk, especially if you have to haul your carry-on bags, but think of all the calories you’ll burn!  That Thanksgiving dinner will taste that much better when you know you’ve earned it!

Finally, it’s important to remind yourself that receiving is just as important as giving.  As a gracious recipient, you are honoring the giver and acknowledging their kindness. Your family and friends will most likely be happy to give you the space you need to take care of yourself. This is a gift just as much as any trinket presented to you. If you dismiss this gift or treat it as if it is unimportant to you, you are sending the giver a message that what they are offering is meaningless. You would certainly not want your own gifts to be treated this way.  The Golden Rule is appropriate here. Think about it before you say “No, I don’t need any help”.

Through it all, remember that most of our “to do” list is things we impose on ourselves.  It never hurts to take a moment before committing to something and just think about whether or not it’s a good idea.  Are you adding something else to your plate that really isn’t necessary?  Or is it something you can graciously decline.  Maybe you can suggest an alternative that might lighten your load.  Overloading yourself can even make you resentful which is probably not something you want to feel during the holidays.  Also, remember that perfection is not required.  It’s OK if everything doesn’t get done to your exact specifications. Give yourself the best gift of all:  slow down, take some time to breathe, reflect, relax and enjoy. Everyone around you will be glad you did.

 

Among the reasons given for practicing yoga and Pilates is the ability of these disciplines to improve strength, flexibility and balance.  All three of these terms have many meanings.  Just as building strength is more than just lifting weights and flexibility training encourages more than touching your toes, practicing balance is not just standing on one foot. This is not to diminish the importance of the ability to stand on one foot.  In fact, there have been studies that suggest that the ability to stand on one foot for at least 20 seconds is a predictor of longevity.  That may or may not be true for everyone, but we do know that there is a connection between fall-related injuries and aging.  Exercise in general, and balance training in particular, have been shown to be effective in reducing falls in older adults.  An article on the Harvard Health Publications blog discusses this relationship and cites a study in the British Medical Journal that supports this result.

As that article suggests, falls can be problematic for more reasons than just the broken bones that may result. Another result can be an almost PTSD-like effect which the article describes as a “downward spiral”.  The faller becomes so frightened of another fall that they begin to restrict their mobility.  One of the recurring themes of my blog is that once someone stops moving, starting again becomes much more difficult. That difficulty can ultimately create an insurmountable barrier.  The less you move, the less you want to move.  This may be why we often hear the old adage of “getting back on the horse” after falling off.  Sometimes that is the only way to rebuild the confidence lost when something traumatic occurs.

This is not to suggest that anyone should abandon caution and take unnecessary risks in the name of overcoming fear. But rather than letting the experience reinforce fear, it can also become an opportunity to adopt practices that help to alleviate the fear. When it comes to preventing falls, there are many steps that can be taken to lessen the risk.  These can be as simple as keeping ice melt handy for those places that are known to accumulate ice or wearing shoes with non-skid soles. Keeping walkways well-lit and obstacle-free is another.  And, of course, beginning or maintaining movement practices that emphasize balance.  Actually, all movement practices promote balance.  For example, walking is the act of lifting one foot and maintaining balance on your standing leg until the lifted foot reaches the ground in front of you. Think about a toddler learning to walk and having to negotiate this challenge. Even after we think we’ve mastered the technique, the challenge still remains. Remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle?  This is where practice becomes so important.  We become adept at surmounting these challenges through the reinforcement of practice. Balance may be difficult or even elusive at first, but keep trying.  Eventually muscles will begin to develop the strength needed to stabilize the body even when it is in unstable positions.

There is another advantage to practicing mind-body disciplines such as yoga and Pilates when working on balance.  That is the development of mental attention – sometimes called “mindfulness”.  Whenever I hear about someone falling or, in fact, having any type of accident, it is almost always a result of not paying attention.  The person was in a hurry or stretched themselves in a way that they knew might be precarious but thought “I can do it” rather than simply moving the ladder or changing position to make that stretch safer.  The balance training lessons of mind-body practices help you to get to know your body and how it works internally but also how it relates to the space around it.  How do your feet feel on the surface they are standing on?  What is the relationship between you and that tree trunk blocking the path that you’re walking on?  How about that chair you’re sitting on?  Do your feet reach the floor?  Can you sit upright with proper spinal alignment? Will it really make a difference in your work output if you stand up from your desk and take a stretch break?  Are you standing on one foot in that check-out line?  Or is correct posture allowing your spine to support you?  In the general scheme of things, will it really matter if you take an extra few moments to check in with your body and its surroundings?  Think of the possible consequences.  Not paying attention or thinking somehow that you are immune might cost you a whole lot more time being layed up.  It will do no good afterwards to say “if only I had . . .” (fill in the blank).  Many of us have experienced or witnessed “irrevocable acts” – those times when we wish we could have a “do over”.  Sometimes there is nothing we could have done to change things, but other times just a brief pause before taking action might have prevented an unintended consequence.

This post started with the premise that balance is more than just standing on one foot.  Another benefit of mind-body practices like yoga and Pilates is that they encourage one to take the lessons learned on the mat and apply them to daily life.  Is there anyone out there who does not need more balance in their lives?  If so, I’d like to meet that person and learn their secret.  Think about all the balls we juggle in our daily lives.  There is work and leisure; family responsibilities and personal needs; making healthy choices when alternatives beckon; navigating through parking lots with a long “to do” list filling occupying our minds; choosing to accept reality or clinging to an unreasonable wish that it will magically become something different than it is.  No doubt each of us can come up with additional examples of the extremes in our lives that pull us in opposing directions.  Every day we are faced with these choices. Finding a balance is no easy task.

So what do we do?  Give up in despair and allow the difficulty to overwhelm us?  Or recognize the opportunity to practice. Just like the balance postures we practice in a yoga or Pilates class, the choices that life presents are also an opportunity to practice finding a middle ground.  It requires focus and it doesn’t always work the way we want it to.  Even the most devoted yoga practitioner will fall out of tree pose or feel his or her foot wobbling.  Similarly our attempts to find balance in our lives will often result in wobbling or just falling into one extreme or the other.  But this doesn’t mean we are failures or incapable of better performance.  If you can move and breathe, you can take the lessons learned and try again. Practicing does not mean perfecting.  Being human means none of us will ever be perfect.  But we can all get back on that horse (making, of course, the necessary safety adjustments) and keep practicing.  It may be that the practice eventually leads you to recognize that horse-back riding is no longer a good idea for you.  Then you can practice accepting that reality for today and moving on from there.  Maybe there will be something even better waiting in the path you decide to take instead. No matter what happens, there will always have more opportunities to practice.